ART FEEDS

I just had breakfast with my wonderful friend Meg. Meg started a non-profit called Art Feeds. Art Feeds began as an outreach to one basic classroom in a very basic form, just tying to meet needs. Now they provide art for a variety of children, with a variety of needs, to a variety of classrooms. The very "basic" has fallen into a genre of "essential" therapy. Traveling to, working in, loving on in-need classrooms, after school programs and across the globe to their partners in Africa, ArtFeeds provides children the tools they need to develop creatively. Through music, art, writing, photography, dance and performing arts, Art Feeds teaches children how to express themselves in a positive and uplifting manner. They seek to allow children to build themselves up through unique expression and creative passions. They create programs that are relevant and meet the needs within the communities they serve. These communities include- special needs classrooms, behavioral disorder classrooms and after school care. Their focus is to make a difference in each child’s life through mentorship and community engagement. Art Feeds does this by bringing art back into the classroom and making art an accessible outlet in children’s lives.

Art Feeds lives by the motto "Love Naively. Give Generously.Be Foolishly Compassionate"

and they succeed in living that out. I want to encourage you to engage in this movement. They are working their hearts and their bodies, giving their time and their love to the children that they work with. You can do

nate to their cause - which your donations now will be going to Ghana in efforts to create art packages for children. Donate money, donate art supplies, donate your time. You as an American have a lot to give, so start giving whether that be a one time act or a continually commitment. Don't have the image of a regular, rather spoiled child getting art supplies and just playing. Picture that child that has been abused in more ways than one, that child that has not only been deprived of true, unconditional love but been deprived of the essence of his childhood, picture that child and how that small paint brush and small piece of paper help him not

only process the damage he has been put through, not only how those tools become a healthy outlet of the pain he has felt, but how that brush and paper actually heal his heart and mend that wound.

By donating to this cause you are not merely donating paints and paper, you are donating a tangible form of healing, of love.

Go to... http://www.indiegogo.com/Art-Feeds-Ghana if you would like to donate to the Ghana project.

Go to these... If you want to learn more about ArtFeeds

http://www.artfeeds.org http://www.myspace.com/artfeeds http://www.twitter.com/ART_FEEDS

ok - Here's the deal... Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's just not. (Dr. Seuss) So how about you start to care? How about you start to make the world better? How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. (Anne Frank) How wonderful is it that you can start right this instance to care? to better the lives of others? I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. (Edward Everett Hale) I understand, there are a lot of obstacles; time, money, other priorities; that stand in your way of changing the world right now, today. But how can you let those obstacles stand in the way? How can you allow busy-ness to cast a cloud of procrastination onto your desires for change? Because...It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do little - do what you can. Right now. (Sydney Smith) If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one. (Mother Teresa) That will make all the difference, in the world. He who gives when he is asked has waited too long. (Sunshine Magazine) So your already behind, you've already procrastinated this for Far Too Long! So... Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light. (Norman B. Rice) Dare yourself to not only Find a need But to fill it. (Ruth Stafford Peale) You must be the change you wish to see in the world. (Mahatma Ghandi)

Because all summed up and because in the end the only things that matter are people, are their hearts. So if your going to put anything off - why are you allowing it to be the beating of the hearts that make our world go round? I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love. (Mother Teresa).

el presidento

I'm reading Abraham Lincoln's biography currently, thanks to Sonja Ferkel. It's absolutely amazing and studpendous. I suggest you find a favorite president. A president no matter who he is or where he succeeds or fails is a leader. Has a way of making decisions that are not only wise for themselves but for a nation. Hence the suggestion that you get yourself a favorite president, read their biographies, study how they made decisions, how they faced trials and tribulations (because they all did) and their cons and pros in leadership ability. I think by studying them, wether doing in-depth research on a specific topic and looking closely as the strategy behind the process or by just reading their quotes, it will give you advice and wisdom so that you yourself can be a better leader or at least just have wise decision making habits. We all need a mentor, to be better for ourselves, to be better for others. So why not have a couple mentors, why not look to someone who is in close vicinity that gets that face-to-face time with you. But why not also have someone who is far away? So, go out readers and find your favorite president and get some wisdom!

Abraham Lincoln is my favorite by far, he was such an amazing man who did so many amazing things. A man of very few words but captured everyone when he did speak. A man who did so much for our nation and always put America ahead of himself or any individual. He

was always 5 steps ahead of everyone else, seeing the potential we carried.

Did you know they make Abraham Lincoln dolls?! I want one :)

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.

Abraham Lincoln

Avoid popularity if you would have peace.
Abraham Lincoln

Die when I may, I want it said by those who knew me best that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower would grow.
Abraham Lincoln

As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.
Abraham Lincoln

As our case is new, we must think and act anew.
Abraham Lincoln

Sail Away

With my feet warming from the fire and my throat lusting from my black coffee, do I dare begin to awake the ambitious adventurer that lies within my bones? This question is one that must be asked of a person who thrives to be in the sea of uncertainty. Because you see, if you awake the wanderer inside it’s like waking a bear before spring. You stir awake in surprise at what winter took away and feel that gripping hunger in the pit of your stomach to feed what you are longing for. In fear that I may jump off this familiar shore to pursue those unclaimed trails and to see the unknown with my own eyes; I believe this ravishing desire must be tapped into with utmost caution. Just like every other emotion and characteristic, a free spirit is no exception, it must be controlled and tamed. Nonetheless, it is a desire that must be let out and fed. Just like the winds of the sea, they must roam the earth with a forceful presence; nonetheless the sailors sails must be strong enough to capture them, to use them effectively.

This uncontrollable craving has consumed me since childhood. Like a soldier stuck in a terrible war, you cannot leave the wanderlust natives stuck in a desolate position. You cannot harness the passion that resides in the trailblazers of our world; they’ll break through and run wild and rampant. As I grew, I never had that harness tied too tight. Being raised with my parents pushing individualism and discovery. They were the encouraging type, never the over-protective type. I suppose that is the only way I got myself on that airplane, alone and sixteen, headed for Africa. The only way I got my elementary self to the off-limits side of the waterfall, opposite of the marked out Rocky Mountain trail that my family was cruising.

My fierce longing for intoxicating thrills and gyrate jaunts probably started to form the fibers of my bones long before I can imagine. Maybe it was my great-great German granddad who wandered into Nebraska to gain a plot of land and to start a farm, a family, and a life from scratch. Then again maybe it resides in the history with the pilgrimage of my other grandfather, Evald Greenwall, when he sailed here from the Swedish seas. Venture plunging and that sauntering stature flows in my family’s blood, but can I deny that those same longings are held by my patriotic forefathers? Our entire country is founded by those who lived across the waters and trekked to America, whether it was for religious or economic reasons. The 1600’s were not the last to hold days of successful traveling farther westward, farther from their homes in search of the new frontier. Who knows how many families were inspired by Daniel Boone’s explorations into the “Eden of the West.”

I will always claim my American roots and stand with my hand in a patriotic position as that star striped flag waves. Although, I love my great nation I cannot lie and say this is where I was born and this is where I will die. My heart has buried itself in the foreign soils that I have seen, as well as those that I have only dreamed about. My daydreaming is continually packed full with visions of land, food, music, and architectures that do not match those of America. So maybe this initial stirring started in my bones from my fathers before me, but it started in my heart that first time I set foot on Mexican soil in my adolescence. It grew from there leading me to travel every chance I could, be it through American territories or countries spread across the earth.

I played with the children not much younger than I on the Mexican dirt just south of the border. They helped open my eyes to the world beyond my own. I stood intrigued in amazement as the African women jumped and yelped in church service with the mountains and safari life in the background. My heart grew more attached as I cried next to the Jamaican girls that I connected with better than the American girls that overwhelmed my home culture. But my curiosity continued to peak when I walked the cobble stoned streets of Ancona, Italy practicing Italian after my language lesson and effortlessly gaining weight from gelato every night. I became committed to the international world when I faced hardships and trials in Bangkok’s schools. This is when I realized that I would rather be miserable teaching English in the Thailand heat then live comfortably in my box in America. Through laughter and tears, amazement and wonder, I started a passionate love affair with these alien cultures.

If wanderlust is romantic, it can also be perilous. I had to learn this lesson in a ruthless, relentless way when I got my blonde, nineteen year old self stuck in the southern borders of Mexico, in the Chiapas territory. Being held at gunpoint by the organized soldiers of the Gorilla rebels, the Zapatistas, I had to accept the fact that I had stumbled into water high over my head. It’s one thing to admit you have done something stupid, like jumped into the water impulsively without knowing how to swim, its another to stand there realizing you jumped in with the shortage of swimming skills, into shark infested waters. But that is part of venturing, exploring, discovering; how do you expect to get to greatness without a bit of folly? The best experiences aren’t out in the open for all to taste; they are the ones hiding behind risk and his brother danger.

Some people, those who fear even the border of their comfort box would say that my life has been full, that my life has seen risk and adventure. But when I look at what I have accomplished, where I have walked, where I stood and where I fell it is a minor detail in what I see my future holding. By the end of 1862 Abraham Lincoln declared, “The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate for the stormy present.” I hope that my past experiences are whispers compared to the experiences I will gain. I will hopefully learn and take lessons from my past, from my defeats and my winnings, sending them into my future. I have hopefully become a woman of stature and stoic throughout the past twenty-two years. Using my past days as winds for my present sails.

Do I fully know my credo? Not exactly. Do I have a firm opinion on all the principles and morals of my life? Not nearly. But I do have a set foundation; I do have a strong base that lays the groundwork for flying away. Could a rocket ship ever make it to the moon if it was launched from a swamp? You have to lay that concrete as a solid, almost unyielding surface. Being a journey junkie is being open-minded, accepting and natural in ambiguity. Being thick enough to be able to put yourself in situations where you may lose your innocence, but never your substance. If your heart is the essence of a free-spirited bird you have to open the cage door and let it fly. Allow it to explore the lands that were formed in seven days by the God of the Bible. But if your bird’s wings are clipped, or not strong enough for the flight, do not be foolish enough to believe you’re adequate enough for the flight.

I don’t believe wanderlust wishing must be running in your veins, or your family tree for that matter in order to venture out; but by this warm fire I will stay, until I know my maturity’s foundation is rooted deep down into the soil. My sails are opening and are yearning for those winds, and when the day comes and the winds blow and kisses them, pushing them into the dark storm of the night that conceals the world’s most hidden treasures, I will take them in. I will take in the winds, with the blows and the blusters along with the endearments and sacraments. For I am merely a sailor standing at shore with water to my knees being guiding by the starlit structures overhead.

GeT InsPIRed

“I can never stand still. I must explore and experiment. I am never satisfied with my work. I resent the limitations of my own imagination.”

- Walt Disney

   Today I am feeling so inspired! Not for sure, possibly the fantastic cup of Sidamo natural coffee I am sipping or even the musical piano notes that are playing in my ears, or maybe it is just because in my line of view I can see a giant picture of a vintage airplane flying in the clouds. 

   I believe in inspiration and imagination, I believe these two things could possibly be the largest things that help us become not only who we are but what we do, what we create. Because what does inspire you? Is it music, people, films, clothes, buildings, cities, nature, love? What has that capability of sparking your hearts wires so that they ignite within one another and light a little flame in your heart, that has the potential to send a warm wave throughout your entire body, touching every limb and fiber that creates the physical and mortal structure of YOU. What match is it? And if there isn't one, if you cannot think of a moment when you heard your heart pounding and your mind going wild and your smile uncontainable, then dear friend Go, find that spark! 

   Because what inspires your imagination will help you figure out who you are, who you were destined to be. It will help you create yourself, outside of yourself. If you planted a garden today of inspiration, a garden of what your tangible imagination would look like; what would be planted in that garden? 

Go, explore, experiment, be invigorated, be inspired. Touch the corners of your heart that are yearning to get out and be heard. Allow yourself to show the world who YOU truly are. Because seeing the core of your heart and the mechanics of your inner clock work, is inspiring to the rest of us :) 

  

    How do I begin to write, begin to make words that have the potential to flow together, begin to write sentences that have the capability to harmonize with another; when in reality every word written here will be one of heart ache. Every word I have sitting on my heart, every thought I have resting in my head right now - they are ones that originated because of strain, trouble, difficulty and hardship.

     I was thinking about reality TV today. Reality TV is staged television programs that are intended to be about real people and real situations, its a genre of television programming that presents purportedly unscripted dramatic or humorous situations, documenting actual events, and usually features ordinary people instead of professional actors. Or so that is what it claims to be. But we look at reality television and is that reality? Is that really what our lives look like? to a degree, maybe yes. But isn't it interesting how America is the place that praises reality tv, that obsesses over it, that has an overload of it coming out of their tv sets. I believe the reasoning for that, the sole reasoning that America has formulated and molded itself around reality tv is because its entertaining & we can handle our "reality", only in our lives would reality be entertaining. Because in every other country, every other nation, every other culture when they are seeking reality, Reality as what it truly is: The world or state of things as they actually exist, opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them. If any other country watched as much reality tv as Americans do .... everyone would be weeping, everyone would be distraught, everyone would break into pieces at that very moment because reality is not a pretty picture. But unlike America, other countries do not need tv to tell them 'this is reality' because they see it with their own two eyes. 

      All over the world there is brokenness, there is disaster, there is injustice. 19,548: people who died from hunger today (while others greet obesity) 4,142,297: deaths from water related diseases this year (while we pay $3 for glorified tap water) 11,083,375: Deaths caused by communicable diseases this year 37,799,005: abortions this year 1,675,067: Deaths caused by HIV/AIDS this year 880,252: suicides this year $328,386,578,999: world spending on illegal drugs this year.

   For some reason America (or at least the greater part of America) has learned how to close their eyes to what reality truly is. To what this world of ours really is turning into. I mean we can count those stats and an American may say they don't apply to him/her, we are Americans we don't have to worry about diseases, poverty, genocide - whatever turmoil the rest of the world is facing, on American soil life is good. But how can we say that when obesity is starting to kill people and there is 1,155,841,361 overweight people in the world right now and $175,610, 789 dollars have been spent today alone in America on obesity related diseases? Or the fact that toxic chemicals have all the potential to kill someone and there has been 8,038,935 tons of toxic chemicals released by industries into our air, land and water this year. 

    There is disease, poverty, death here in America; but not like it is in the rest of the world. And the rest of the world is being overwhelmed by it. There is a hopelessness that you can visibly see in the children's eyes that are being prostituted on the streets, there is a hopelessness in the widow's eyes that cannot find the means to feed her children, there is a hopelessness in the teenage soldier's eyes that he fully knows that he will never live a day without war. Those in the chaos of the distress wake up every morning confidently thinking, "this is life; this is all there is."

     My heart is broken. It feels as if someone has grabbed my rib cage, tore it apart and pulled my heart out to only slowly squeeze it to were I know exactly the wrong that is taking place and yet I stand here gasping for breathe for the acceptance of the little I can actually do to make a difference. Is it fair that we were placed here? Wherever you are, however much money you have, or the lifestyle you partake in? Is it fair that you were placed there? Did you have any say in the location you were born or the parents you had? So, then what about the homeless on the street or the prostitute in the brothel. You think you have the right to judge the alcoholic, the addict, the diseased? Are you better than that? Sorry to break you the news: but no, you, we, I are not. 

   Albert Einstein talked about how the danger in the world is not because of those who do it, but because of those who stand by and watch it happen. When we forget the refugee we are actually displacing them, When we forget the poor we are actually robbing them. When we forsake others for the sake of ourselves, we actually are forsaking ourselves. 

   We hear people speak on poverty, we read books, blogs, papers, projects on injustice, we watch news, broadcasts, documentaries on issues. So is anything changing? Is anything getting better? Has any revolution actually began to take place, in the world? (or dare I say in our hearts?) 

   We will always have the poor, we will always have the diseased; so why try to heal it? Why try to stop it? Why try to change it? Especially if it is not our battle to be fighting. I for one do not fight the fight in hopes to end poverty, end injustice, end death. I fight it to give those in the midst of it hope. To show them that there is more, that this life - whatever their life is - is NOT all there is! On earth maybe, but to give them the hope that this life is one life, one short life filled with hardship and trouble; but that there is another life, another life that they can live gloriously, healthy and rich and fulfilled and happy. A life after this one. 

* all stats came from: http://www.worldometers.info/ (honestly it was hard keeping up with it, most stats were growing by the second)

But then again maybe sharks and waves shouldn't be my biggest worries...

    hahaha ... we'll see if I even get there first! 

swim

 I was driving home today, a drive I have fallen in love with merely due to the fact that it is fall - my favorite time of year. This road has become a beautiful isle laced in trees that have lived only to die, for they truly leave this earth more glorious than they came.In the days of their leaving they look more brilliant than they did on any of their green days in the spring's rain or summer's heat. My drive passes a lake, Kellogg lake that is. 

     So today in the midst of some discouragement I stopped to breathe, to ponder, to talk to God, to just sit. I sat upon the bank of the pond that had small ripples forming all across it's face caused from the birds that were leisurely laying around. But as I sat on the grass stoop, goose bumps growing on my legs and pale sincerity crossing my face, I knew I had nothing to fear. Although if you would have handed me a shovel I surely would have dug my hole.

   The reason for my discouragement: I went swimming today, to work out you know? As I swam laps having elderly woman to my right and toddler boys to my left, I felt like my chest was going to explode

 when I would go under for a length of time, I felt out of my element when I would hit the wall breathing in gasps because the front stroke is apparently the hardest workout of them all. Never in my life have I cared that my swimming was not up to par, only caring enough that I knew enough to keep me afloat. Unfortunately, you need to do more than keep yourself afloat when you are swimming in the bay. When you are in crashing waves off the 

coast of South Africa that are defined by their frigid waters and their great white sharks. Unfortunately you need to be able to do more than just survive if you plan on surviving where

 the best in the world go to surf.

    Am I good swimmer? not really. Can I surf? nope. Do I have any clue what I am getting myself into by leaving my comfort zone of the mid-west, which is 1,400 miles away from any ocean? not one bit. 

     But as I sat upon the shore of Kellogg Lake I had a familiarity that I always seem to take on when looking out over the surface of

 water. Whether the water is black and cold and filled with the essence of a being darker than sin's soul, or whether its crystal clear blue, a transparent window to the culture of the depths of the sea. It does not matter, because I long for the water, not necessarily to be in it but to be near it, it gives me inspiration, it gives me life, it scares me while at the same time comforts me. 

      I had to withhold myself from not leaping off Kellogg's shore into the chilly water to attempt to swim to the other side just to prove to myself that I could do it, that I could swim a length worthy of a fish, that I could swim murky waters that held unknown creatures                    

and obstacles. But I did not, I stayed and I waited for I know those days will come when I do not have the luxury to sit on the shore but I will be forced to dive into the waters and face my fears eye to eye. 

I just pray that when that day comes, when my fears are at my door greeting me, that I will say hello and welcome them in and Jesus will be my guest to see them through the night. I pray I have that courage, for if I do not I fear I will stand up, turn around and walk back to where the shore meets the horizon of the land. For in the deepest part of my soul, I honestly would rather die in the midst of my fears than betray my potential in an act of archaic anxiety. 

Missing nature in a tech society

There has been an intruding thought in my mind these past few days. It actually has been appearing on and off for years now but lately I can't seem to get it out and I am beginning to wonder, do I just kick it to the curb again? Or do I find a solution or explanation? 

   So here's my thought ... "The way we have grown as a society/culture the lifestyle we have accepted and adapted too, is that shortening us to living at our full potential? To fulfill our full potential of our emotions, of our actions for justice; Is our full potential to truly be deliberately living being numbed by the world?"

   I believe the thoughts first came to me just by observing the life style we live in today. Seeing how we connect to everything and everyone through technology. The way we travel by car and talk by phone (the way I am getting my anti-technology thoughts out through blogging, ha). The way we are so disconnected with the earth. We walk on cement, we sit inside walls, we communicate through wires. Everything in our lives has begun to be filtered through these new inventions of our lives. If my craving for nature wasn't so large, so demanding, I don't think I would  ever even have noticed it. But I'm wondering if by coating so much of our life by these things if it has indeed numbed some of our senses. 

    I started to be more convinced by my ponderings when I started not only to look at us today, but looking at humans decades before us. We can read the quotes, the writings of anyone who lived in another time from us; Lincoln, Thoreau, Eisenhower, Wolfgang Von Goethe, Lao Tzu, Bonaparte, the list goes on and on. We read their quotes, their writings, manuscripts and they are men of passion, of leadership, men who are in touch with their emotions and using them to change the world in a monumental way. Are we doing that? Yes, we have incredible leaders in our day today that are changing the world and are stepping up and are writing down quotes that will be remembered for decades. But are the leaders we have today as emotionally attached to our world and to its people as the leaders were a hundred years ago? And does that make a difference even if they aren't? 

   I believe it does, I think if your feet are on the dirt and if your breathing in the air and allowing your hands to touch the leaves and branches and touch the skin of another then you are more attached. I believe that by having so much technology has numbed some of our senses and has begun to separate us from relationships and true heart-felt passion. It has detached some of those wires that spring from our heart that we need in order to do some actual justice on our earth and to actually see a change that goes deep enough to strike the core of the issue. 

    But can I complain about technology? Is this con of technology taking away from our emotional senses good enough reasoning in light of all of the pros it has brought us and in light of all of the progress it has created for our world? I'm not sure. Personally I say naturally, heart-felt, emotional, passion is more important and is most important; but I am just one in the sea of 8 billion. So is this issue grave enough for our entire world to begin thinking about, to begin embracing, to begin balancing? 

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I have not lived.” - Henry David Thoreau

Simple Pleasures

Hello, there. Indeed it has been far too long since I have written a blog. I get bombarded with all the things I want to write about, all the issues I want to talk about, all the listed items I need to go over, all the many things that I want to tell you about. This list in my head goes on and on and on, whether that is with fair trade, or the origin of coffee, or how we can fight the sex trade, or what God is doing in my life, or the major issues that our country is currently battling and debating over. I mean this list seriously is never ending, of pleasures and pains and justice and growth. I get bombarded with my life, with that 'to-do list' that never gets done. Since we need to go over all these many a things, I decided to start simple. 

    The simple pleasures in life. Because with all this mumbo jumbo we constantly get mixed up in we need those simple pleasures. In order to stay sane in the chaotic calamity of our lives we need those pleasures that give us a true happiness and a hope that everything will be okay. We need that simplicity when we are trying to fight for something and everyone in the world is telling us not too, but every fiber of our own being is telling us YES. We need those random, peace bringing joys to keep us going, to keep reminding us of hope and beauty. 

"A bird among the rain wet lilac sings - 

But we, how shall we turn to little things

And listen to the birds and winds and streams

Made holy by their dreams

Nor feel the heart-break in

The heart of things"

   -Wilford, Wilson

There is a magical tune, that when strummed is the pulse of the beating of our hearts. That when played helps lead our voices in the song we are to sing. There is a light chorus being played above our heads that guides us in our days, there is a beauty in our days that allows us to live in the present, a light that shines through our eyes that allows not only others to see it but allows us to see the details in the grain of our lives. We often go without this. So easy we get so tangled, so lost, so confused, so overwhelmed. 

There is too much beauty, too much truth that lies in the harmony of our days. How could we possibly conquer the big issues, defeat the giants, or overcome the adversity and struggles that face us? How could we live in the midst of the chaos if our eyes aren't focused on the serenity behind it. I love seeing the simplistic things in life, because those tend to be the most beautiful, those tend to be the sanity to my chaos. The best days are when my spirit is aligned with nature, aligned with simple truth and beauty that is so alive that is carries the power and strength to overcome and change the world.

    

can·di·da [kan-di-duh]

So it's official, well not actually official but by my own diagnosis, my body is infested with a horrible case of candida. This yeast has overgrown my intestinal tract giving me annoying and painful symptoms one on top of the other. This yeast is beginning to spread throughout me, it will grow and get worse if I don't stop it, so the only way to stop it? Lots of pills; probiotics, detoxes, candex, cleanses, enzymes, blah, blah, blah. And a very strict diet; no carbs, no grains, no sugar, no fruit, no caffeine, blah. Which leaves me to eating merely vegetables and (some) meat, which is much harder then it even sounds. You just have to get creative and have a positive attitude... today at starbucks: iced, decaf americano, no milk, sugar-free vanilla! Ha, take that candida!        With this ridiculous sickness that has had me rolled up in the fetal position in pain and at other times had me so lethargic you'd think they stuck me with a pain killer and marijuana syringe.  But this internal growing fungus is more common than you think, everyone has it, just to different degrees, unfortunately I believe I have some allergies to assist in all this treachery. But this fungus inside my intestines has got me to thinking about other "candida." 

Let's have a look shall we ...

"I hope there are some who will brave ridicule for the sake of common justice to half 

the people in the world." Barbara Leigh Smith Bodichon (1827–1891), British feminist. As quoted in Barbara Bodichon, Introduction, by Candida Lacey (1987).

"Do you think that the things people make fools of themselves about are any less real and true than the things they behave sensibly about?"

 George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950), Anglo-Irish playwright, critic. (First produced 1897). Marchbanks, in Candida, act 1, The Bodley Head Bernard Shaw: Collected Plays with their Prefaces, vol. 1, ed. Dan H. Laurence (1970).

"That is what all poets do: they talk to themselves out loud; and the world overhears them. But it's horribly lonely not to hear someone else talk sometimes." George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950), Anglo-Irish playwright, critic. Marchbanks, in Candida, act 2.

"We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it." George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950), Anglo-Irish playwright, criti

c. Morell, in Candida, act 1.

   

     These quotes are amazing, but why was the play called Candida? or who would name their daughter Candida? I mean come on, there is a candida blog, a candida diet, a candida play wright, candida cleanses, a candida song (by Tony Orlando), a candida center, candida albicans, thrush, overgrowth and candida yeast. And a big one: candida symptoms, symptoms that have entirely changed my life style. But in the bigger spectrum of life, lets look at a comparison or analogy, if you will, that candida provides for us. I believe it may be more important than the physical turmoil I am now facing.

     Candida, a yeast that plants itself, that we all have, if not taken care of, overgrows and takes over. When you die there is a yeast that decomposes the inside of your body, this is the same yeast that currently resides in my stomach. So bigger picture? How many of us, how many times, do we, do I allow this yeast to overgrow and take control? 

 I am no longer talking about yeast, I am now talking about sin. We all have a seed of sin planted within the hollow bones of our skeleton, now how many of us lose focus and allow that sin to begin to grow with in our very structure and take over? We can so easily lose focus and stop disciplining ourselves. Stop watching what we feed our mouths. If you constantly feed yourself carbs, you will get a horrible case of candida; if you constantly feed your self with the ways of the world, the ways of selfishness, the ways of sin, you will get a horrible sickness.

 

  A sickness not of the physical kind, but of the soulful kind. The genre of sickness that takes you steps, sometimes miles away from the grace of God. A sickness that makes you lose sight of the kingdom, that makes you lose sight of where you belong in the spectrum (God, others, and then you). An overgrowth of "yeast" in your gut will pull you farther from our Father, will pull you farther from the light, the hope, the love that you were born to belong to and fellowship in. 

    I'm not eating carbs or sugar right now, but I can't help wonder what else I shouldn't be eating? Certain music, certain relationships, certain entertainment, certain activities? What else should I be fasting from? Because when we take the sin out of our life we tend to get our eyes opened, it is so easy to sit in a brain fog, blind to our wrongness when our bellies are bloated full of the wrong filling. 

Hebrews 12, what a great passage on what discipline we should obtain, what great words on the love our God holds for us. Hebrews 12: the directions for our soul's cleanse. 

 

succumbing to the sunrise

            Tomorrow I may have to go and fly away. But not today, no not quite yet. For today, for this warm afternoon I lay sprawled on the leather couch looking out onto the sun slicked pavement of county road 100. Last week I moved all of my belongings, my clothes and books, even my tree into a new home. I left Sonja and Lindsey at Norman-ville, which was my home for over a year’s time. And I moved all those boxes of mine into the back room of the Aldridge’s home.

            The Aldridges. A family that I have been close to ever since I moved to Joplin. A family that has taught me about community and God and being open and honest. A family that has accepted me and loved me through all of my defeats and disasters. A family I don’t know what I would do without. But I am not alone, I’m not alone in these feelings that my heart contains for this family because I know more than a handful of kids, of college students, of yearning girls and lonely guys that come here for a haven. So many people, people ranging from baby hood to adulthood retreat to this cowboy stained place that over flows with sweet tea.

            I moved out here to the white shuttered paneled home that lies among the grass and lilies to escape the ruckus of town, I moved out here to the forested, horse filled prairies to clear my head, I moved out to the open land to the lengthy grass roots that flow silently in the wind breeze so that I could dig my roots down a little deeper here in Missouri.

            So, I woke up on my cot, in my room with the wind blowing a kiss on my face as sweat slightly slung my neck, to roll over and see through the wooden blinds a masterpiece. I’ve looked out a lot of windows from my bedside in my life, and I have to be honest this is one of the best. I’ve laid on a hard firm mattress in Italy to look out upon cobbled streets and people in a fury at the market as they shout Italian. I’ve woken up with bites and rashes from the bed bugs that ate me at that hostel in Belize to look out over backpackers holding hands while walking over white sand beaches and crystal clear water. I’ve woken up on a wooden bunk bed to look out my shack’s window in South Africa to see the land roll on into the sunrise as the wildebeest roam in herds and the zebra follow close behind. And I will never forget walking up in a dorm room to see the cafeteria right out front and students meandering to class.

            This window from my bedside, it’s a little different. Beautiful in its own way, but a little more precious. I woke up to see the fields go on for just a way before they ran straight into the trees, and as a very light fog barely sat upon the thistles they reflected the red of the sunrise. The sun was barely up as it was already shouting and spurting out the colors of righteousness to welcome it’s way into our day. And the sun did not keep its rays to itself, it spread its light unto the rest of the world.

            Just as that sun spread and touched everything in its path, Aldridge’s do that. They spread light onto every person that walks through their door onto their wooden cowboy floor. Just like we are all suppose to do, as Christians that is, spreading Jesus’ light onto the world. Do I dare entire into such a cliché statement as that? Do I dare say spread the light of Jesus into the world?

            It may be cliché, it may be corny, it may be overrated… but how true it is. The sun has a way of saying good morning, easing into the day slightly, lovely, patiently. Just as we are to love on people. The sun does not shoot itself straight into the middle of the sky and it does not fall on the earth on top of you, smoldering you. No, it is patient, it is kind; gentle almost.

            But its true, we can only fully appreciate a sunrise once we have been in the darkness of the night. This last year was so hard for me, so full of stress and trials and tribulations of the sort. And out of the darkness I have been placed in the sunlight, being able to wake up to the glorious gobs of light that are being poured over me now, whether that is relationships or working in a coffee shop or preparing for an African adventure. That’s what is going on in my life today… I’m waiting in a moment of sunlight, watching the sunrise slowly rise and taking in every piece of its beauty, for there is a beauty in the silence, there is a beauty in the peaceful heart, there is a beauty when the Lord draws near in this soul of mine. Where do you lay your head today? When you awake I hope that it is a magnificent sight for eyes and a tug to every chord in your heart. 

Dance your heart out

 Aren't these pictures absolutely gorgeous? Stunning, breathe taking... the essence of beauty being captured in an environment that is completely outside of it's own true element. This quote had caught my eye in the past and it came back to my thoughts when looking over these pictures: "To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. This is power, it is glory on earth and it is yours for the taking." ~Agnes De Mille

     i believe any type of art form is you being outside of yourself. You expressing your soul

 your being to the world.

When you watch a dance you feel empowered, you feel like you know beauty and can finally possibly capture the fibers of harmony. [just imagine how empowered the actual dancer feels] becoming one with music, one with lyrics and chords 

and noises that when all brought together make a sweet melody. It is a moment, a collision of two art forms slamming into our world. Slapping our world in the face, saying do not be ugly, do not be harsh. Do not let the wares and tares that have been burned upon you to leave their scare. For in the midst of this chaos we call life, in the midst of this ever growing evil we see cratering under our feet and collapsing over our heads, we still can bring in beauty and love and a melody that is willing to fight with power on the stands of truth and grace. 

     You, my dear reader, you as an individual are truly grace on earth. But there is a power lying within your bones. And it is your choice to come outside of yourself and in some way or form show your soul to the world. My heart yearns for the world to see itself how I see it. Many a times I have wondered how my rib cage is so strong, strong enough to hold my heart inside my chest on those days when I feel like it is going to burst out and completely fly out of me so that it may have a standing chance to show the world what love is, what beauty is. So, go out there, get out there; be more, get out of yourself. Be larger, be more beautiful, more powerful, Show a glorified light onto the soil of our earth. 

[The Ballerina Project is auctioning a selection of fine limited edition prints to help raise money for the continue progress of the project. Here is an opportunity to own your own piece of the Ballerina Project. Thank you for your support.]

For more information on these prints or to place a bid please go to the link below:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270606656841

 

coming home to pass it

   Well we are on that gray hard pavement once again, adding up the mileage on the jeep, seeing more countryside, dancing around vehicles and trying to ignore the garmin's annoying voice. We are headed home, headed back to where this journey all started, heading back to Joplin. In my last post I said that this blog would be eventful, be vivid, alive, because we are just leaving Tennessee and my lovelies, that is exactly what you will get because Tennessee did not fail us in anyway, if anything it exceeded our expectations. 

So to start off with where I departed from you last time. We dropped off that beautiful Tennessee interstate lined with trees and fog and brightened by the moonlight and we fell into downtown Nashville. The hotel our friend booked for us could not been more amazing. Filled with amazing lighting, amazing service, amazing beds, amazing decor, amazing is probably the only word I could use to describe it. We were blessed beyond our imagination when we stood in our 5 star hotel room looking out our window over Nashville's skyscrapers and night life. Because of this instance it made past instances stand out very strongly. Instances of people helping us out. People have hearts of gold within these burning walls of our crumbling corrupted world. The man that booked our room, didn't even know us, our friend called him and he pulled every string he had to help us out. This work for our well-being was a constant throughout our trip. 

       While staying in the hotel we did the tourist thing around Nashville. And folks, this time we did succeed at the touristic ways! And that is because there were no lines, and no standing and staring and no need of our patience, or even our money. The tourist thing in Nashville is essentially to party down! And that is exactly what we did. Visiting the museum of country music definitely pulled all of our heart strings and made us feel like we belonged and remembered that longing for incredible, original music. And at night we walked the streets. As we were headed to a dance floor one night we ran into a girl and her guitar along with her family, that caught Candice's attention. So we stopped and listened and chatted. By the end of the night we were standing in a circle praying with them, for them, encouraging them on their journey of the ministry God has placed in their hearts. After that we stopped in a bar for some good oldies where we all danced with men, not one being under the age of 60. Hitting more and more stops and bouncing around like we do, that was another morning we watched the sunrise. 

      But we didn't have the entire next day to sleep in. We traveled east to a winery to watch Medicine Hat play some musical notes. It was a wonderful afternoon sitting on the grassy open lawn with the sun bouncing off our umbrella as the guitars and rough voices were a blissful match to the vines flowing miles away from the house. After that we had more amazing music, at the Grand 'ol opry and at a random hotel lobby. Realizing that there can be a stage and thousands of people for wonderful music, or a stool chair and a crowd of ten. Musicians are alive and well and spreading their talent for our ears. 

     Thanks to dear friends, once again, we had a home to stay in Saturday and Sunday night. And had our Sunday filled with laughter and joy as we floated on a boat across the green Tennessee water being chased by tree-filled hills. It was a happy Sunday on the lake, filled with sun and nature and good company and refreshing water. 

     Like I said earlier, people are incredible, giving, loving. Friends, family, strangers have made our trip what it was. From Candice's aunt and uncle giving up their own bed for us to sleep in, to Kaitlyn taking away time from homework to be our tour guide, to Dave giving us a floor to sleep on, to his roommates spending the morning helping us figure out DC, to Kathleen offering her home to us, to Lee giving us a room in a perfect hotel, to Jeff and Doug lending us beds and entertainment. Time after time on this trip we have seen the beautiful hearts of people, the way people have gone out of their way to give us directions or to load our car. 

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.  ~Mark Twain

Have you had a kindness shown?
Pass it on;
'Twas not given for thee alone,
Pass it on;
Let it travel down the years,
Let it wipe another's tears,
'Til in Heaven the deed appears -
Pass it on.
~Henry Burton

   So that is what we have in the fore fronts of our minds. To love on people, to be hospitable, to show kindness and generosity in a way that the world has not experienced. We cannot ignore or deny the love that we experienced between New York to Tennessee, we cannot hide from the concern that was covering us. Because if it had not been for people and their gold hearts, we would be broke and soar from sleeping on the ground. We would have been tired and cranky and biting at one another. But I cannot be that, I cannot be ungrateful or unthankful and all that love and generosity I experienced throughout my trip cannot be kept to myself. 

   Well readers, our trip is done. We have covered the miles between Joplin to New York and back again. We have found frustrations and annoyances but not without finding hope and comfort. Road trips are an experience, you learn about yourself about your travel companions, you learn about the roads you travel on and the new communities you enter into. The wisdom we should have read before venturing is this: When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money.  Then take half the clothes and twice the money.  ~Susan Heller. But we survived in our faults and grew in our finds. So the final quote to cap off this grand adventure:

I think that travel comes from some deep urge to see the world,

 like the urge that brings up a worm in an Irish bog 

to see the moon when it is full.  ~Lord Dunsany

    We had an urge and we grabbed it, we had an itch and we scratched it. Free falling into our lives as we are at the biggest cornerstone we jumped head first into a challenge that we will never realized how much we learned in it. But we being the worms of the dirt of the earth, for we truly are the scum of the earth and of sinners we are the worst; we rose above the mud and we saw a glimpse of the full moon's light. Not only the grand landscapes and incredible man-made structures, but we also saw man kind in the purest and rawest form. So, I challenge thee, since I have been challenged these past 15 days. Get your head out of the mud and gaze upon the beauty of the glowing moon.