i miss you

I've been in South Africa for 37 days now. So here's where my heart lays...

I love this small holiday town that has a feel all of its own. There are locals here that everyone knows, there are locals here who were born here, locals here that will thrash you if you get in the way in their waves, there are locals here that moved here long ago from far away and never found the exit.

Every place in this world of ours is made up of it's unique culture. Their lifestyle, customs, traditions, heritage habits, discernment, discrimination, education, art, philosop

hy, humanities. Jeffreys Bay's culture, their environment is made up of an assortment of multifariousness and diversification (in other words, a variety of things). But beyond the wooing waves and the melodic mountains, beyond the scrumptious shore lines and the enticing edibles; J-bay's environment has captured my heart because of the people.

There are cities out there that play my heart song much louder and harmoniously. There is nature out there that my soul yearns for in ways this sea will never be capable of. But the people have captured me. I adore them. I already cherish them. I have met a handful of characters here, people from all over South Africa - and then some from other parts of our world. Characters of contentment, of sophistication, of dedication, of hospitality. People who know how to be themselves, all of them, the good and the bad - people who know how to love God with every beat of their heart, who know how to love people with every fiber of their being.

So my heart has met me in a place of peace here in this town. Can I call it home? no. Maybe someday. But today I still feel like the outsider looking inside the fish bowl, sometimes knocking on the glass, sometimes even putting my hand in the water. No matter how long I will be here for, I am thankful.

Just as much as I love this location and their culture. I must be honest, my heart does indeed lay here but not fully, I lay here to rest my head every night, but my head does not entirely rest pacified; because in America there exists hearts that I love, there are individuals there and communities there that I have thought of every single day since I arrived here. I'm realizing how much Joplin influenced me, how much my parents originally molded me.

I moved away from home when I was 18, never being back there for longer than 2 weeks at a time. I've traveled to 4 continents, to over 9 countries; meeting people from every place, from every background. But I'm here learning more and more on how different people are, how different people think, how different people are raised, how different people develop (and even in the midst of our differences how alike we are). My heart has longed for the people I left behind, even though they have moved on or will. I cannot fully clarify how deep this minor hole in my heart runs, how much I long for those familiar faces and similar humor and comfortable companions; those deep conversations, those reliable processors, those people who understand you a little better than you understand yourself, merely because they put the hours in.

I'm curious. I'm curious what will come of this year, what next year will look like, what will come of me. I'm curious what relationships will form, which ones will last and survive, which ones will die. A very important person to me once said, "You live and die on community." Never in my life has it been more true than it is now. [I suggest you read Acts2:42-47 for an amazingly skilled community]

I plan on writing about intellectual controversial issues, about systematic structures in the NGO world, about the doctrine of man and sin. I would love to write on music and fashion and photography. I intend to write on lessons learned and challenges accepted and unexpected ordeals tackled, some conquered - some lost.

But

today (like every other blogging day) I decided to write about the things that make my heart beat in the night when all the lights go out. relationships, people, circumstance

s, situations. I'm thankful God never leaves us and that he travels this journey by our side so we'll never be lonely. But as my heart finds itself in a peaceful calamity between longing and contentment I have to practice patience of one more mature than I, in order to wait upon the sight of the webs that are being woven in the seasons of my life.