Why hello London...

Well, it’s only my third day here in London town and I feel as if I have a lot to catch you up on! I arrived early Thursday morning, took the rest of that day pretty easy due to extreme exhaustion and than that evening Nick Mack (the bearded British gentleman I am staying with here in London) and I went to a live concert at an amazing venue. It really was a great day but I have much more to tell you about…

Friday morning Nick and I walked from his flat, through the narrow streets and through the local market to make our way to ‘Red Art’. This café blessed my first English morning with an amazing Turkish breakfast! Which could have been regarded as an omen for the rest of our day.

After that we had an amazing adventure navigating our way through a brisk, sunny London, walking our feet around the stained pavements and riding the red double-decker buses we eventually made our way through some of London’s most epic spots.

We went to Speakeasy Coffee; which is a rad shop where we made our own drip-brew coffee and was fortunate enough to taste the smoothness of a grand combination.

From there we toured more of Carnaby Street, checking out little shops. As we made our way down the hectic, people-filled street Nick lead us into Piccadilly Circus which was inspiring with its detailed architecture and statues. As we continued our journey we made our way through Trafalgar Square, the National Gallery and onto London's south bank.

The south bank easily became one of my favorite spots as it opened up to the beautiful river, The Thames, running right through London allowing you to see so much of this glorious city as if it was unfolding like the perfect display from a pop-up-book. At the south bank we ate dinner in the market, I found a little Polish stand and had some delicious eats and we treated ourselves to some divine mulled wine! Now at this point I was beyond happy, because of the market, the great treats and the incredible intoxicating atmosphere London gives off. But it didn’t take long for it to blow over…

Because right after we finished dinner I followed Nick back up to the Thames where we then ran into Big Ben and Westminster – which completely blew me away.

Some girls grow up dreaming about their wedding, about that entire day and every detail about it and when that day comes, it is exactly as they imagined… For me I grew up daydreaming about England, about Big Ben and the double decker buses, I fantasized about the fashion and the coffee and the invigorating vibe that the people of London lived in. And as I stared across the river at that massive clock shooting up in the starry night air with all its glory – it was indeed, everything I dreamed it would be. It was just as incredible, impressive and beautiful as I always knew it would be.

We closed our night by heading to a local pub in Dalston, with a glass of red wine and in good company I closed my second night in London. Knowing bigger adventures were on the horizon.

time to go...

Last night was my last South African braai. Possibly the last time I would see a handful of people that have become very dear to my heart.

I cried. There is a part of me that has no desire to leave Jbay.

and then I packed ....

And now this morning I am leaving, I am driving to Port Elizabeth and getting on that plane and flying to London.

This is the second time in my life I have had to say goodbye to this country I have grown so fond of. The first time I am saying hello to England.

I am excited. There is a part of me that is so over joyed because of this grand, unknown adventure.

and so now I go... because

C.S. Lewis once said, "There are better things ahead than any we leave behind" and I believe him.

Farewell South Africa ...

I can’t believe how fast this year went, how quickly the time passed. As I was running today through the streets of Jbay I took the route I always do one that sets me on top of the hill so I can look out over the lagoons. As I saw the lagoon as it meshed into the sea and the sea opened up into its endless depths that was the first time a tear fell from my eyes. I felt a stinging pain in my heart because I have to leave this land. I cannot explain to you how much I love this country and how easily I could stay here.

Although I love South Africa for a lot of different reasons for its people, culture and nature; there is something in me attached to South Africa and I do believe that it is the adventure. In my head South Africa was always the ultimate adventure, the country on the tip of Africa touching the world’s most southern sea. I would sit on the beach in Jeffreys and I would dream about jumping on one of those boats and heading straight south until we found pirates and penguins. To me South Africa was the gateway to the ultimate feats– and now I have to walk away from that door that rests at the world’s end. So I feel there is a right to mourn, to mourn for this epic challenge has come to a close.

And so now on this cloudy Tuesday when I have decided to fully embrace my lonesome blues because I am forced to wave goodbye to this country, to this season, I do wave with a longing. This year wasn’t an easy one for me and if you are close to me you heard some of my pains, but in those mountains of storm I never wanted to depart from this adventure but now the day has come and I have no idea how it came so quickly.

I think my goodbyes are so hard because I am used to going on an adventure and then going back to my ‘regular’ life – at least that was what I did from ages 13-21 and I feel as if that is what is happening now, but friends that’s not the case. I spent all of year 22 on the most epic, the most southern adventure I’ve ever had and now I’m entering into another adventure.

I am departing from South Africa tomorrow morning at 10:20 and flying into another grand escapade!! So follow me if you will, but here I jump from the southern sea and head towards the northern euro metropolis where I will explore for a month before heading back to Yankee soil.

Here’s the next few months of this adventure I call my life…

South Africa--> London --> Switzerland --> Germany --> London--> New York City --> Kansas City --> Phoenix --> Flagstaff, AZ --> Lincoln, NE --> Joplin, MO --> Lexington, NE --> California

Each spot will be an adventure all in its own, from spending time with old friends and new friends, to exploring European cultures, shopping and hiking and coffee tasting to eating Thanksgiving dinner with my family, to weddings, to surfing and snowboarding. Spending no longer than a week in each city I will be traveling constantly until mid-January, even then having no end in sight.

So Goodbye South Africa, we had a grand adventure you and I, thank you for always keeping me entertained, for teaching me about myself and for maturing me into the woman I am today. I gave you a piece of my heart and I plan on returning for it someday.

And now I look to you, Europe and America, so get ready and hold onto your pants because as soon as I hit your soil caffeinated, action packed, grand schemes are going to form and create the next, greatest adventure my life has seen!

Tea Party

I have slowly, but surely, been saying my goodbyes to individuals here. Tonight was my girls’ going-away party. A tea party decorated with burlap and lace, with the sweets and the wines glowing from the candles, it was a party that was precious and lovely. Not merely due to the serene surrounding I sat in, but due to the incredible women that joined me.

Nine ladies and myself. Nine women that I did not know this time last year, ranging from all different ages, all different life-stages – they are girls that have lived this last year of life with me. Each one of them has taught me something new, shown me something different.

We laughed a lot and we probably ate too much sugar, we chatted away and acted as girls do. But when the night came to a close, as these dear friends of mine prayed over me it was another string being hit – its time to leave Jbay. Whether I am willing, whether it is appealing, whether it is right or good – it is time.

Before the night completely closed, and we said our farewells, these sweet girls gave me letters and cards – items that mean the world to me. I can see each of their creativity, their uniqueness, their beauty; I can see their hearts through their words. And even though we only shared a year together, even though we only shared a hand full of meals together, a handful of memories; the words they spoke to me meant the world to me... and more.

I have yet to realize the grave impact each one of these women made on my life – and I am sure as I fly London bound on that airplane that I will see things in a new light and with tears in my eyes.

So tonight, night number 273 in South Africa – night number 5 for the countdown until I depart – my last Friday night in Jbay is a night I will never forget for the rest of my life. Because it doesn’t matter the mountains you hike, the horses you ride, the jail cells you dodge, the walls you climb – what matters are those tea parties that you have with those beautiful, amazing, God-fearing women that make you smile because they care so deeply, that make your eyes fill with tears because you find yourself in awe that God would bless you with such great company at a tea-lit tea party set by the sea.

Living the width of my life

The days are dwindling down for me over here in Africa. Slowly but surely October 15^th continues to approach, sitting right there around the corner he’s waiting for me. And what am I to do?! As I have a massive door to close behind me, this Jbay door of mine, I truly will struggle with closing and walking on – to walk down a hall filled with adventures and to walk towards a door that I don’t even recognize yet.

So what do I do?

I’m living it up, every piece of it! Because I am not merely living the length of my life, of my days, but I am living the width of it! Last Friday I went horse back riding here in the bay – a beautiful horse ride through green thickets, which broke open into sand dunes, exhilarating me with the feeling as if I were a desert rider. But soon enough the sea broke into view as it does every day here in the baai. And then my horse, Roxy, and I broke ahead of the group flying as fast as she could carry us down 10ks of beautiful South African beach.

This morning, just down the sand from where I rode Roxy I went for a surf. The only lonely surfer at the break that morning with a dark cloud raised above my head there were only small, soothing waves that brought me some comfort.

I can’t believe this year is behind me, I don’t know how the days flew by so quickly or how my 23^rd year approached so fast. But here I sit, 10 months living as a South African surfer down, 8 days away from an epic European adventure, a month away from my 23^rd and a mere 35 days until I am back on American soil.

For now I reminisce on the great days, the adventures, the challenges, the hardships that South Africa brought me. I’ll process some more and tell you my findings. For now I look anxiously ahead at this hallway of adventure that is guiding me through 6 countries, 7 states and 3 months of a suitcase as a closet. I’ll keep you filled in on every step of the way. For now I look cautiously, curiously at the door that awaits me to open it come February 2012 a door that I don’t even know what color it is, hopefully through these upcoming ventures I will figure out what that door looks like and build up the strength to open it. And I am already excited to let you know what lies behind that door.

Different.

It is quite interesting to look back across this last year. It’s interesting to see how much I’ve changed and grown in every possible way. I can see it in my journal chicken-scratch, I can see it in my posts, I can see it in my relationships. I like the idea of maturing, even though it is a process coated in colors that tend to taint the skin, colors that burn and are not pleasant to experience. It’s always worth it, the outcome anyway. Every year I reflect, I see that process I went through and the maturing God blessed me with, but I still saw me. Now I see an entirely different person.

I’m finding myself these days sitting in a season of rest, refreshment and reflection. I don’t know if the South Africans that have been my company for these last 250+ days see the difference and I don’t know if those state-side that were my company in the past will see the difference, But to be entirely honest with you, I feel the difference in who I have become deeper than my bones.

Phil Edwards said, “There is a need in all of us for controlled danger. That is, there is a need for an activity that puts us on the edge of life. There are uncounted millions of people, right now, who are going through life without any sort of real vibrant kick. The legions of the unjazzed.”

I’ve never wanted to be a member of the unjazzed legions, a member of a crew of individuals who never took any risks, never faced danger head on – those groups that sit comfortably in there comfy chairs so long that it has the imprints of their ass. I dreaded the idea of becoming a member of that society. So my entire life I have done everything I could to be in the legions of the jazzed, to be in the life-style that risks it all so that they may move with the ebb and flow of the raw-side of this world, in order to truly live.

When you move to a foreign country, all by yourself something happens. That ‘life’ cup you had, that cup that formed your identity and security (and essentially makes up all you are) gets emptied. Living in America we have the luxuries of filling up that cup daily, rarely does it get half-empty, if even close to dry. You fill it up with material possessions that bring you comfort, you fill it with family and friends, you fill it by succeeding in American expectations, with rewards, with promotions, with compliments, with financial security, with social acceptance, with cultural comforts, you fill it by being busy, using every minute of every day and you may even save a small degree of that cup for God’s love to comfort you and bring you some identity.

But like I said, something happens when you leave your home-land, your culture, your society, your social network – your cup runs dry and you have no way to re-fill it, no way at all. Except with God. This year was hard, my cup was very dry for a very long time and it was a risk I didn’t realize I didn’t want to take. It was an experience that tasted awful in the midst.

But I guess that is why I am so vastly different today, so different from that girl I was at the beginning of 2011. I guess being a member of the jazzed, taking that risk, emptying the cup… actually filled my cup, filled it with something different, with a substantial substance that has stained the inner lining with a different hue.

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.

~C.S. Lewis

South African Session

What I have learned while living with CSA in SA ...

1. You can avoid rules and order, actually you should. Bring the spontaneity in your life at full force. The systematic structure, is good and helpful and sometimes brilliant, but it can never replace the organic growing and changing of having impromptu disorder be the system for your life.

2. Don’t just embrace chaos, but create a little bit of it. Constant change will only keep you (and the people around you) nimble and flexible, ever growing, ever learning. Within this chaos, be creative – as creative as you want to be and encourage the creativity and ingenuity of those around you.

3. You have to be flexible. All the time, everyday, no matter the project – being flexible is the best asset you can have.

4. Embrace and Empower and Embark. You have the capability to embrace anyone, any idea and anything. Do not just observe but seriously consider going for something, embrace possibilities. Empower anyone, any idea and anything. You have the capability to empower anything in your life. And embark on all you want – all your dreams and all your desires.

5. It’s all about God. Who you are, who you will become, who you want to become is all dependent on God and that’s the only thing it should be dependent on. What you want to do, should be all focused on God. Your entire life will always, should always revolve entirely around our God.

That's mainly what I have learned from the lovely folk at CSA, my coworkers and community. And this is what I have learned from SA culture...

Stay on the left side of the road.

Eat lots of chutney and use lots of zam-buk.

This rainbow country has the most extreme colors in their rainbow.

Braai with pride.

Love Mandela.

Respect the wildlife: the lions and elephants as well as the Nguni cattle and the neighbor's dog

Robots are not like R2D2.

Now does NOT mean now.

‘Eish!’ is for surprise, not short for quiche.

Understanding a country’s history will change your view on everything you see.

The best foods start with ‘B’ biltong, bobotie, boerewors, bunny chow.

You’ll die from dehydration if you don’t like rooibos.

And the best way to reply to ‘Howzit Boet?’ is always lekker!